The Paradox of Escape
by whenyouwish
Summary: Clove's only chance at escaping certain death is risking her life.
1. Chapter 1

It's morning. My stomach hurts and it takes me awhile to remember why. Then I remember what happened last night, and it's like I've been punched. I hear the hovercraft and it's another punch, doubling me over. I can't even breathe. It shouldn't be this way, but because of yesterday, I know what my future holds and I don't know if I can put my feet on the floor.

"Clove, get out of bed. Today's the Reaping and we have to be there, even if we aren't going to volunteer this year," my brother Aldo yells at me from the other room. I'm in District 2, and the Reaping is more symbolic than anything. People volunteer each year based on who is most likely to win the Hunger Games and bring honor to our district. We train from childhood and whoever is best volunteers. I'm the best of the girls, but it's already been decided that this is not my year since I'm only 15. There's still time to get even better and guarantee a win.

Our instructors decide ahead of time who's best suited, and as always, they are both 18 year olds who are in their last year eligible to be tributes. The guy's name is Cato and we're not exactly friends, but we know each other pretty well. Salome, the girl, was friends with my oldest brother before he became a Peacekeeper and was sent off to 11. Salome is who I need to find today. She might be mad, but I don't have a choice. Things need to change.

I put on my best dress and check the mirror before I leave my room. My mother passes by the door and sees me looking in the mirror. She does a double take and chortles. "Why do you care what you look like, Clove? The camera won't even be on you today! Or are you trying to impress someone?" she asks me. I just smile at her before going to check if Aldo is ready. He's 17 and angry he didn't get to volunteer this year. My mother is relieved. She wants all her sons to be Peacekeepers, not Victors. Rare for our district, she actually values love above honor.

I go into Aldo's room without knocking. He is leaning out his window talking softly to someone, and is obviously startled when I clear my throat to get his attention. He stands up and I see a flash of white-blonde hair dart out of view. He was talking to Salome. This is my chance. I turn and run from the room. I have to catch her before she gets to the Reaping. I skid a bit turning the corner from the living room, snatch my knives off the table, and tear outside after her.

"SALOME!" I yell, kicking rocks up with my feet as I run. She looks back and sees me, and slows somewhat before stopping and allowing me to catch up. She doesn't turn around as she starts to talk to me.

"Okay, fine, you caught me, I was talking to your brother rather than preparing. What do you want?" she asks with more than a considerable amount of attitude.

"I don't care that you were talking to Aldo. I don't care what you're doing today. It doesn't matter. You don't need to prepare. Let me volunteer for you." I'm not begging yet, but I'm prepared to beg and I'm prepared to fight. I _will_ be the female tribute for District 2 this year. I have no alternative.

"Why the hell would I do that, kid? First of all, I promised Cyrus before he left for 11 that I would watch after you and Aldo. Second of all, I know I can win. Third of all, it's set in stone. The instructors decided. If you'd had a problem, you should have taken it up with them before they announced the final decision." She studies me with her pale eyes. She's always been intuitive and she can tell something's wrong. I weigh the risks of showing her all my cards before deciding to just be honest and see what happens.

"I didn't need to go before today. I need to go, Salome. You have plenty of options. You could become a trainer at the academy. Maybe one day they'll reassign Cyrus back home and you two can even pick up where you left off. Something happened last night. I can't stay. I have to volunteer." Maybe I can just be vague and skirt around the details. Maybe she doesn't need to know everything.

"Not happening. It's in the plan. 'There are no surprises on Reaping Day in District 2,' right? Just like they always tell us. I don't care what happened to you. You're 15; life goes on. You know what I think? I think you know you're better than me and want to prove it to the world. Honey, you don't know what you're getting into. You haven't finished your training. Take a deep breath and who knows, maybe you'll volunteer next year!"

She's not buying it. I have to be completely honest. So I tell her about last night. Her eyes open wide and she looks like she's about to say something before she takes off running again. And she's _really_ fast. Damn. This is not going to be easy.

"SALOME! I HAVE TO VOLUNTEER TODAY!" I scream as I chase her towards the academy. I know where she's going and I know why. I can't let her get there. She doesn't stop and I don't have a choice. I take out one of my knives and throw. It's a narrow miss and she stops abruptly and turns to face me, face snarled with a mixture of derision, anger, and maybe a flicker of fear.

"You wouldn't hurt me to take my place. You wouldn't do it. Not to me, not to Cyrus, not to District 2, not to yourself. You would ruin everything. You've made enough of a mess already."

I don't have a choice. I don't want to do it. If I've learned anything about myself in the past 2 days, it's that I can be cold when I need to be cold. I can hurt when I need to hurt. If I'm going to win this thing, I'm going to have to be cold. Before Salome has a chance to react, I take out a knife – the knife – I look her in the eyes, I cover her mouth with my hand, and I slit her throat. I watch her die, blonde hair fanned out around her crumpled form on the side of the path, and then I take off running again.


	2. Chapter 2

I burst through the doors of the academy. I know he won't be here. He's set to be a mentor this year, and they stay segregated until the Reaping. I have to find Creon and I have to tell him about Salome and he has to let me volunteer. He has to. I repeat that to myself over and over as I walk in time - he has to, he has to, he has to, he has to. I stride quickly to find him, still panting heavily from running, when he appears out of a side room. He looks furious and imperiously begins to demand answers from me. "Clove! What the hell are you – is that blood?" I look down and I'm not exactly covered in it, but I guess I won't be wearing my best dress to the Reaping either.

He has scarcely stopped speaking when I calmly explain, "Salome is dead. I killed her. You have to let me volunteer this year. I wanted to tell you. I know there are no surprises on Reaping day in District 2. You had to know and I had to tell you. I will be the female tribute this year."

Creon is already a humorless looking man. His wrinkles crease and his frown deepens, but he doesn't look surprised, so I know he already knows why. "I was hoping you wouldn't do anything drastic. You're quite popular within the district, Clove. Perhaps it would not have turned out so badly for you. They likely wouldn't have made an example out of you."

"Creon, you know the only person equal to a Victor is another Victor. If I have to face him again in this district, I will face him as a Victor. Or else I will die in the Arena, but that's better than what would happen to me. They might not have made an example out of me, but _he_ would have. I can kill. I've proved I can kill. I have no option but to win. Choose me now and tell me where Cato is preparing. I'll go join him."

He doesn't respond to me. He walks back into the room he came from, and returns with a dress. It's my size. The tag says CLOVE in his writing. He expected this. I follow him as he leads me down a hall, and I begin to realize why they always say that there are no surprises on Reaping day in District 2. Even if it might be a surprise, no one outside will know. It will look planned on camera. I know I haven't ruined anything, and I can finally begin to close off my emotions. Now, like all those practice days in the academy, I can become a ruthless machine, and I can win.

The next few hours pass in a blur. I stand behind some ropes off to one side as all the other eligible people in our district file in. Cato and I will file in with our age groups as they enter, but we get a last few moments to talk before we officially become the tributes from District 2 for the 74th Hunger Games. I didn't tell him I killed Salome, I just told him that she couldn't compete this year and that I have replaced her. He doesn't care. He's here to win, and he has probably the best shot. If it comes to it, I can kill him, but I'm hopeful that he'll get overconfident and end up another pointless casualty in the Arena.

Aldo sees me standing with Cato and looks confused, then panicked. He tries to catch my eye, but I don't want him to know what happened. I can tell him after I've come back a Victor. Until then, he doesn't need to know more than what will officially be announced – Salome killed herself due to a sudden onset of panic about being a tribute. With no time to re-evaluate, Creon and the other instructors at the academy selected the best female in District 2 to take her place. It all flies by from there. They take the stage and Aditya, our escort, runs through the usual spiel before poising her hand over the bowl of names and asking if, before she chooses, there are any volunteers? There are. We are. We go to the stage and I'm not sure if the crowd is cheering or jeering or voicing their confusion.

They take us back and I instruct the Peacekeeper who is guarding our rooms – I think another classmate of Cyrus's but at this point it doesn't matter – that I do not want to see anyone. I might hear my mother's voice, but I tune her out. The other Reapings are happening and I am choosing my targets. There's a panicked-looking girl from 8. The crippled boy from 10. And then there's the girl from 12, what drama that Reaping was. We don't all have the luxury of such sentimentality, and I'll kill her to prove it. As I'm being led to the train, I catch Aldo's eye. He is standing with my parents and they look jagged and false, though they're trying to beam with pride like they're supposed to. I nod at them curtly before boarding the train.

I look around and see Aditya sitting on a sofa next to Enobaria. She beckons us over and Cato sits down. I stand up. I have to be ready, because short of the moment when I enter the arena, now is when I must be most vigilant.

"Hellooooo, darlings! Cato and Clove, how dear, both C's, you're such a pair!" she trills. "You know Enobaria, of course, from your time at the academy. Your other mentor this year is Brutus, but he's not feeling well will be meeting us in the Capitol. They've taken him already by hovercraft so he can be treated and back to 100% before you get to practicing!"

After all the tension I felt waiting to see Brutus for the first time since yesterday, I almost faint. But I don't. I won't show weakness, not even now. Cato might be my partner in the beginning, but in the Arena, you have no friends for very long. After some consideration, I sit down and make nice with the others. I catch sight of myself reflected in the mirror. I am beautiful, I am poised, and I am deadly. I will win.


End file.
